Some raw words I scribbled at the airport about big vs true. They are part of my next book. That book is on pause because I need some more breath around the arrival of baby #2. My children’s book ‘Earth To Kids’ will be out in limited edition version in time for Chrissie :) XX
Below there’s an image with a summary of these words.
What’s more significant? A New York Times Best Selling Author in the Self Help world, or a gardener who chats to people as they walk by on the way to work? Neither. And if you were to measure, it would totally depend on who’s heart was where. Bigger, louder, more exhibitionist or more noteworthy doesn’t mean more important. Big things can be world changing-ly important. But so can little, quiet, nobody-knows-about-it-things. The energy of our actions doesn’t take into account how loud we scream, they ripple regardless. Remember that next time you abandon your soul to create what’s big when what you crave the most is enough of a pause from the pursuit of palatial to pay attention to your actual, everyday life … Someday someone’s gonna speak at your funeral and chances are it won’t be one of your insta followers.
Find relief in this if you need it: Simple lives are significant too. Not everything you do has to be big and noble. A lot of the most noble, planet changing people in the world won’t ever grace the cover of Time or touch an instagram grid. Their life still changes the structure of the world. Remember that the next time you reach for ‘big’ and ‘noble’ instead of what is true in your heart. You can go through changes, not tell anyone, and the fact you’ve gone through them still effects everyone.
Too many ‘lightworkers’, ‘influencers’ and ‘activists’ are denying the simple things their hearts want the most because they’re not big, noble or soapbox worthy enough… They’re not significant enough. The need to be significant could very well be the exact thing that’s keeping you unfulfilled, unhappy, tense. Maybe you’re creating programs and books, trying to pull content from your being that’s just not there, because no, God no…. no, no no no you couldn’t simply be a floral arranger. How would that look on your eulogy? Floral arranger? Someone who made peoples day through the beauty of flowers? No. I need something bigger, more noteworthy, more important.
Some people are here for the big. They thrive in the big, the stage, the audience. But not everyone. Your heart doesn’t give a shit if you’re doing something the world knows about, or not. Because whether you’re living your dream quietly and privately or having an entire audience watch as your life gets bigger and more badass, at an energetic level the whole world does know about it.
I have found the most relief recently in the ‘little’, because I have always been more comfortable in the ‘big’. I use the flower arranging example because I fucking FROTH OUT on that. When I check my ‘is this my actual thing to do for real as a career right now?’, it’s a no. But I sure as shit asked myself if it was. I love writing books. I love speaking on stage. I love being able to give big ideas to big companies and do all the big things that are big but true for me anyway. But over the last few years I’ve said ‘DONE’ to denying the little things that bring me just as much joy as the big. So much of my life now, nobody sees. Unless you’re my daughter, my husband or the baby in my womb, you wouldn’t know. I’ve become more private- not because of an attempted rebellion, but because I’ve stopped needing to feel significant. Well, mostly. I won’t say it’s gone entirely. It’s one of the things I’ve had to check the most as a mother— “do I really need to do this? Do I really want to? Or am I doing it for fear of not ‘keeping up with the crew? Dropping off the face of the earth and then having no one know who I am in 3 years when I emerge with new books?’ All those kinds of things…..
Meanwhile my heart is like ‘fucking LOL Pk. Cook the long slow meals. Make the hand stitched lavender bags. Spend the days doing art with your daughter. Send gorgeous gifts to friends. Have longer hearty phone chats. Take a fucking sabbatical. Unplug all the cords in your body that tell you you’re meant to be something more worthwhile than what is actually, the most worthwhile.’
Big is not always better. Sometimes it is but not always— check.
Try hard Noble is not always more noble. I have a whole other section on this HOOLY DOOLY.
Shouting is not always more effective than whispering.
Activism is important, but not all activism is loud and some activism misses the whole point of activism (more on this later).
Influence is private just as it is public.
Some of the most ‘in your face’ people online are full of shit.
Some of the least ‘in your face’ people are the most world changing.
There is nothing wrong with going big, being extraordinary, living in a way that is a straight up rebellion— that’s how I’ve spent my twenties and what my entire business is built on. But remember simple is a rebellion too.
The biggest rebellion of all is this— being really fucking honest with yourself, despite what all the people and things are saying is more appropriate for you. Unplug it all. See where the excitement is. Follow it like the yellow brick road. And stop judging what’s ‘meaningful’ and what’s not.
The people who inspire me the most truly, are those who unplug from a matrix.
Most of us have unplugged from the ‘status quo’ matrix. Remember there is a status quo matrix in the personal growth world too that says ‘make this, sell this, do this, oh and don’t forget to put MAKE AN IMPACT on your bio!’
Unplug from that. Because although it sounds really motivationally inspriationally galactivated… it could actually be the biggest side step your soul ever took from it’s true path.
What if it’s more noble of you to do what you really wanna do, rather than what looks noble to others? What if doing what truly makes you gizz is of greater service to the world than all the things you do to ‘look like you’re of service’?
That’s the juice for me.
Get on the same page as your life, for real, and super honestly… and then true service will begin.
Drop the BS nobility. Drop the tiring attempt to change everyone and everything.
Stop ignoring the fact that you’re trying to help everyone else without paying attention to the fact that you’re garden needs some watering/replanting/tending to in an entirely new way.
I planned to release two books before I went off to have my second child. I’m only releasing one. A limited edition version of my childrens book- Earth To Kids. My ‘need to be significant’ part of me threw all the ‘yeh but you’ve written so much epic shit you should show the world now’ stuff… but rushing to publish, would hurt my wellbeing and the wellbeing of the ecosystem within the four walls of my house. What’s more important? Having the world read my words or embodying them fully for a little while longer privately? Only I know.
My other book, which these words are from (copyright … don’t be going taking my words and writing your name under like every second person on the internet does lol but for real don’t)…. Will come out when I’m ready. It’s all written and ready to rock— the publishing part breaks my balls though and I’m exploring it all.
Lotsa love. XXX